The Peacemaker Personality

By October 16, 2013Diary

Some people are born making people comfortable, making people smile and making arguments disappear. This is the Peacemaker Personality. These people should procreate and make more of these people.

Miles Peacekeeper

Somehow my dear husband and I made one of these rare and precious humans. Can we toot our own horns? Nope. I gave them drama and my husband gave all of them oodles of math brains. Miles is only 5 so he can’t make other people any time in the near future, I’m just saying we need more people like him. And total bonus that he is good at math and engineering things like LEGOS. Little dude might one day have a good job and make people smile. Boom!

In case you are wondering, as much Dear Husband and I love us some peacekeeping, we lack certain necessary qualities in a real peacekeeper. Ergo, no horn tooting. We just got lucky! What qualities do we lack? I am over-sensitive and over-impassioned about all the stuff in the world. This means I have little freak outs and cry and get overwhelmed and I have causes and a million things to say all the time. The husband, and please know that he is a kick ass guy, can be, at times, under-sensitive and have so few words one might wonder if he is thinking about things. It might just be that he has no comment on the bajillion things I talk about, but still, the dude is not a natural caretaker for the feelings of the world. He does have a lot to say about fantasy football.

The planet needs all kinds of people except the baddies so I’m cool with me and all you other non peacemakers almost all the time. I just know that Miles and other people like him are something super duper special.

What makes a Peacekeeper or Peacemaker?

I found this article on Peacemakers on BBC Science that says

Peacemakers focus on the present and enjoy helping others in practical ways. They are sensitive to the world around them and take quiet joy from people and nature, particularly animals. Peacemakers value close relationships, but it may take time for others to get to know them…[they] value personal freedom [are] particularly sensitive to the feelings of others, [and] think of themselves as steady, gentle and sympathetic. Others may mistake their quiet nature for weakness.

What struck me first about this was the joy from animals. Miles is like an animal whisperer. As a baby he put his face up to cows and horses and such at farms. He protects everything, even bugs. Animals just like him. Even the guinea pigs start squealing and popcorning when he comes around.  (More on the piggies later – we added Mr. Jewel Sprinkles and Mr. Spark to our home.)

I was also reminded that Miles has quiet strength. I have loud strength, I suppose. I need to reinforce this as he grows up so that he knows he is strong and that his gifts are precious. Overall, this little snippet from the BBC hit home. It is a spot on description of my little guy. I know personality assessments can be off, but in a general sense, seeing his character traits spelled out so clearly was really helpful.

By the way, this personality test is now closed to new users. It was done as a study. You can still take the 16 Personalities Test and find out where you fall. I am an ENFJ along with 2% of the population. If you want to give a test to your kids, there is a modified Myers Briggs test for kids on that I plan on doing with my kids tonight. I think it is just fascinating to read about the qualities that make up different personalities.

How do I really know we have a super awesome human?

You might think it is strange to identify the personality of a 5 year old, and it is true that until the teenage years many experts believe that the full range of character qualities is not developed. However, there are signs that show very early and the Kidzmet test says that about half of the full spectrum apply to your young children.

In this case, it’s not just me that sees it.

People have commented on it since he was very little. We have noticed it in our home. He is the middle child, between two headstrong young ladies, and he makes it all okay. When he graduated from pre-school last year he was awarded “Most Likely to Keep the Peace”.  I might have beamed a bit. I didn’t even know that was awarded in pre-school. Then last week we got his interim report card and it said

Miles is a complete delight! He personifies the Honor Code in everything he does and never fails to treat his classmates with kindness and respect. Miles is a sensitive child and his love for his friends permeates everything he does. He is a boy who is able to work and play with others in such a way that conflict is never an issue. He tends to be quiet and we make sure to call on Miles even when he isn’t volunteering information, for he usually knows the answer to everything we discuss. Still waters run deep!

Wow. My little man has a big heart. What I really mean to say is that I thought hot diggity this kid is cool!  He is quiet and thoughtful and will make a joke of himself to get someone else to smile. He will probably get in trouble for this one day.  You know, being silly is sometimes unappreciated in school. He is sensitive, like I am, but in a very different way. He just wants people to feel good, to smile, to laugh and to be happy plus he knows how to do it. He does not just smooth things over and bury problems. He is a thinker and tries to fix things. He wants a solution that will satisfy the most people. He is a tiny gem.

My strong personality (I’m an Aries if you go by astrological signs) could take a lesson or three from people like Miles. I wonder how many peacekeepers I know as adults? Somehow it seems more complicated the older we get. And because these people are often quiet, maybe I don’t always notice them. I want to notice them more!

I wonder what you think about personality tests? I don’t really think of them as pigeonholing us as much as helping us to identify the parts of ourself and how they work. I’m just really curious here. Have you taken the personality tests or have any moments that revealed something about your kids?

Here’s to Peacemakers and Personality tests.  I love this stuff!

p.s. Won’t you join me on Facebook?  We can have lots of fun over there and maybe someday the Facebook people will actually merge my old page with this one…if I can get more likes.

Join the discussion 14 Comments

  • This personality test stuff is interesting. I’ve always had an interest in it, it was my favourite part during my consulting and psychotherapy education.
    And your little guy? Sounds like you have a winner 🙂 I’m lucky enough to have one in my family as well – my daughter.
    Kerstin recently posted… Talking TeenagerMy Profile

    • Brittany says:

      Oooh it would be my favorite part too! I think it is fascinating and I totally downloaded the 60 page in depth book on ENFJ’s! So what are you…you must have taken one of those tests at some point!
      Brittany recently posted… The Peacemaker PersonalityMy Profile

      • Kerstin says:

        INTJ 🙂
        I’ve taken many different personality and assessment tests, they are fun – but I have to tell you that I don’t take them tooooo seriously, just as a guideline…
        Kerstin recently posted… Talking TeenagerMy Profile

        • Brittany says:

          I have been taking them since I was in high school and I always think that the result will change but it doesn’t. ENFJ. I suppose the more I see that result the more I feel like I should identify what is in some of the research on this personality type that could really help me. Of course, I don;t take it all too seriously, but I do think t is another tool in the whole life planning thing 🙂
          Brittany recently posted… The Peacemaker PersonalityMy Profile

  • Leigh Ann says:

    Oh, I hope one of my girls is a peacekeeper. We’ll need one around here. 🙂
    Leigh Ann recently posted… The Best Neil Diamond CoversMy Profile

    • Brittany says:

      Leign Ann are you one? I seriously think the grown up ones are hard to find! I am wondering now what all my friends are and if there is some rhyme or reason to why we all work together and to why some people don’t. It is fascinating to me!
      Brittany recently posted… The Peacemaker PersonalityMy Profile

  • Keely says:

    Oh my GAWD we need more peacemakers. As one of four girls growing up, I was the designated one in my family…and it got awful lonely there in the middle, what with all the empathy and soothing tones. 😉
    Keely recently posted… Goodbye, Sweet Li’l Car. Hello…Sweet Huge Car.My Profile

    • Brittany says:

      I am so curious what all my kids are because the girls are definitely NOT peacemakers. I think I have actually heard Sophia say “This is War” more than once! So have you taken the personality test…what are you? I am am seriously super curious!
      Brittany recently posted… The Peacemaker PersonalityMy Profile

  • Andrea says:

    Your Miles sounds like he has a long, love-filled life ahead of him. It helps that he is a middle. Middles are natural born peacemakers. I can totally relate. 🙂

    I love personality tests. I think they are informative and a good tool to use for employers who might want to hire a certain type of person for a job, or for nvel-gazers who want to know more about themselves, or for moms who want to pinpoint their kids’ strengths. I think I might give this one you suggested to my kids. However, I’m not so sure they should be used for spouse-finding, as my husband and I are direct opposites in every way!
    Andrea recently posted… When they said I should help my children succeed in school, I didn’t think that they expected ME to be a straight-A studentMy Profile

    • Brittany says:

      My husband and I are polar opposites as well, but the more I think about it, the more I think that might be the best thing for us. Both of us have extremes in our personalities that demand some balance. It would be really interesting to poll people on this topic and find out how many people, like us, married someone on the opposite end of the spectrum!

      We are Aries and Pisces. Ha! And I can’t get him to take the 30 minutes to do the personality test but I am working on it!
      Brittany recently posted… The Peacemaker PersonalityMy Profile

  • I have always been interested in personality tests – and the one for kids sounds neat. I often wonder what my boys’ personalities will be like.
    Your peacekeeper sounds like an awesome little guy! I agree we need more peacekeepers in the world.
    Kim recently posted… In PiecesMy Profile

    • Brittany says:

      It is so strange when of him as a grownup! To keep the skills he naturally has to reduce conflict and to make people happy is something most people cannot do. I fear neither of my daughter’s has this! I also wonder if there are exercised we could do at home to encourage some of the social behaviors that come naturally to Miles. One of our pre-school teachers does role play with the 3 and 4 year olds and she says she makes fascinating discoveries and has had great success in teaching some skills for situational responses. I find this stuff absolutely intriguing!
      Brittany recently posted… The Peacemaker PersonalityMy Profile

  • Alison

    I’m fascinated with personality tests. My boys are still pretty young, though their distinct personalities are emerging. My oldest is cautious and wary, but friendly. My little one is a daredevil, a charmer and a firecracker. It’d be fun to see whether they stay the same or change over time!
    Alison recently posted… Blogging, Social Media and NegativityMy Profile

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