I want to begin by saying thank you to all of my friends, old and new, who have provided love and support in the last 2 weeks since we found out our 11 week old fetus would never live here on earth. I chose to write about our experience and our loss to help me heal and to provide a voice to the many women who have suffered the loss of a pregnancy, the loss of a baby. I was not sure what reaction I would get and I was blown away by the love I felt here, on a blog, on the internet.
Writing a personal blog involves choices, and by choosing to open myself up to this amazing community, I have found friendship and support. I have REAL friends online, who I hug when we get the chance to meet. You are not internet friends. You need no qualifier. You are my friends. These past few weeks, you have made me feel loved, like a part of a supportive family that would never let someone grieve alone or suffer without support. I cannot thank you enough. All those internet wishes and prayers and hugs and words of wisdom, they mean the world to me. I felt that support and I needed it.
Many people wonder why I blog. Sometimes I get down and wonder myself. As most bloggers know, it usually does not pay the bills. Sometimes it feels lonely. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes there is high school drama and disappointment and hurt feelings. However, when you flip that coin over and see all of the encouragement, support, knowledge, and friendships that blogging brings, I wonder how I could not blog!
My husband struggled in the past to understand the relationships I have developed through my screen. Lovingly, he has made jokes about this world of blogging and social media. He couldn’t resist commenting when I was on Twitter. He just did not get it. Until this week.
I showed him the emails, the comments, the tweets and the REAL CARDS that my lovely online friends sent me in the REAL MAIL. I got more support from my friends here than I did from anywhere else. My husband apologized to me for not understanding. He said he gets it now. He too is so thankful that this wonderful community was here for me, for us, in recent weeks.
For so many of us we are sharing stories of marriage, of parenthood, of childhood, and of ourselves. Whether we write with humor or with passion or through tears…we write and share our lives. Sharing holds power. It makes us stronger to come together as we write our way through our lives. All of the little stories of everyday life coupled with the comments and the emails and the twitter conversations and then finally the phone calls build a foundation of real friendship. This foundation remains when times get tough. We are not fair weather friends, and this is part of what makes this online community so amazing. We stick together through the good and the bad.
This kind of support from friends I have not yet met in person is not limited to blogging. After my first miscarriage I found a small group of women on Baby Center who were also TTC (trying to conceive) called The Luckies. What started with pregnancy and fertility discussions grew into something much bigger and these women are part of my backbone of support. They are always there for each other, whether sending me cards, supporting a mother whose son is suffering from cancer, finding the money for eyeglasses for someone in financial need or even flying across the country to watch another mom’s twins after she lost her childcare and had to go back to work. Luckies, I adore you. You totally rock the internet and my world. Huge hugs and love to you all and of course…Baby Dust to all who are TTC!!!
This is not just an online world. This is a huge part of my life. It may be a part of yours too. Do not doubt the power of sharing yourself. I come from the mom angle but there is a blogging community for anyone out there. Love to travel, huge DIY nut, tech crazy…love cats? There is a whole group of people who really want to get to know you, laugh with you, cry with you, and support you.
The key is to be yourself. Do not blog hoping for super internet stardom. (It can come but it takes a lot of hard work and a lot of time and also…a lot of luck). Treat others as you would like to be treated. Don’t sell out. You will regret it. Really, with a personal blog, write and act like you would with a friendship in your “real life” and you will see what this typing can bring. It is truly amazing.
Tell me, why do you blog? What has this world brought you? I would love to hear your own stories of friendship and encouragement and community.
I love you all. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.