The Beauty in Blogging

By August 27, 2011Blogging, My Life

I want to begin by saying thank you to all of my friends, old and new, who have provided love and support in the last 2 weeks since we found out our 11 week old fetus would never live here on earth.  I chose to write about our experience and our loss to help me heal and to provide a voice to the many women who have suffered the loss of a pregnancy, the loss of a baby.  I was not sure what reaction I would get and I was blown away by the love I felt here, on a blog, on the internet.

Writing a personal blog involves choices, and by choosing to open myself up to this amazing community, I have found friendship and support.  I have REAL friends online, who I hug when we get the chance to meet.  You are not internet friends.  You need no qualifier.  You are my friends.  These past few weeks, you have made me feel loved, like a part of a supportive family that would never let someone grieve alone or suffer without support.  I cannot thank you enough.   All those internet wishes and prayers and hugs and words of wisdom, they mean the world to me.  I felt that support and I needed it.

Many people wonder why I blog.  Sometimes I get down and wonder myself.  As most bloggers know, it usually does not pay the bills.  Sometimes it feels lonely.  Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes there is high school drama and disappointment and hurt feelings.  However, when you flip that coin over and see all of the encouragement, support, knowledge, and friendships that blogging brings, I wonder how I could not blog!

My husband struggled in the past to understand the relationships I have developed through my screen.  Lovingly, he has made jokes about this world of blogging and social media.  He couldn’t resist commenting when I was on Twitter.  He just did not get it.  Until this week.

I showed him the emails, the comments, the tweets and the REAL CARDS that my lovely online friends sent me in the REAL MAIL.  I got more support from my friends here than I did from anywhere else.  My husband apologized to me for not understanding.  He said he gets it now.  He too is so thankful that this wonderful community was here for me, for us, in recent weeks.

For so many of us we are sharing stories of marriage, of parenthood, of childhood, and of ourselves.  Whether we write with humor or with passion or through tears…we write and share our lives.  Sharing holds power.  It makes us stronger to come together as we write our way through our lives.  All of the little stories of everyday life coupled with the comments and the emails and the twitter conversations and then finally the phone calls build a foundation of real friendship.  This foundation remains when times get tough.  We are not fair weather friends, and this is part of what makes this online community so amazing.  We stick together through the good and the bad.

This kind of support from friends I have not yet met in person is not limited to blogging.  After my first miscarriage I found a small group of women on Baby Center who were also TTC (trying to conceive) called The Luckies.  What started with pregnancy and fertility discussions grew into something much bigger and these women are part of my backbone of support.  They are always there for each other, whether sending me cards, supporting a mother whose son is suffering from cancer, finding the money for eyeglasses for someone in financial need or even flying across the country to watch another mom’s twins after she lost her childcare and had to go back to work.  Luckies, I adore you.  You totally rock the internet and my world.  Huge hugs and love to you all and of course…Baby Dust to all who are TTC!!!

This is not just an online world.  This is a huge part of my life.  It may be a part of yours too.  Do not doubt the power of sharing yourself.  I come from the mom angle but there is a blogging community for anyone out there.  Love to travel, huge DIY nut, tech crazy…love cats?  There is a whole group of people who really want to get to know you, laugh with you, cry with you, and support you.

The key is to be yourself.  Do not blog hoping for super internet stardom.  (It can come but it takes a lot of hard work and a lot of time and also…a lot of luck). Treat others as you would like to be treated.  Don’t sell out.  You will regret it.  Really, with a personal blog, write and act like you would with a friendship in your “real life” and you will see what this typing can bring. It is truly amazing.

Tell me, why do you blog?  What has this world brought you?  I would love to hear your own stories of friendship and encouragement and community.

I love you all.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Join the discussion 24 Comments

  • that…was beautifully put. Loved it and love you.

    That is all

  • I am so sorry for your loss. There are just no words to soothe or express my heartfelt warmth towards you and your family and empathy for what you are experiencing.

    And thank you for this post. I have been struggling quite a bit lately with “Why do I blog…” I still do not have my answer…. but I can only hope to gain the support and friendships that you have found online.

    Warmly,
    Sharon

    • Brittany says:

      Sharon it is tough. There are definitely down days and times when a post gets no activity and I wonder what I am doing. But if I focus on writing for me and to help, when I can, other women, I know I am doing something I love. Good luck to you and know that you do have a community and you do have support!

  • Cynthia says:

    I think you are so courageous for opening up your life nd sharing the story about your recent loss. I think people that do blog can be an outlet for them. I’m a stay at home mom of two and have considered blogging but I’m just not sure. Like yournhubby, mine is the sane way. He doesn’t get all the blogs I read and the vlogs that I watch and been to throw in twitter in there, he doesn’t get. Thank you for sharing your life with me.

  • AZLB says:

    beautifully said. Thoughts are with you on your journey of healing

  • Blogging has brought me great friends and I passion I haven’t felt about words in a long time.

    I’m so glad the community supports each other, especially in times like this. I’ve been thinking about you the last couple of weeks. I’m so sorry for your loss, Brittany.

    • Brittany says:

      It just keeps surprising me what I get from this. Whenever I am feeling beat the blogging community steps up big time or I really connect with someone new. It’s amazing and I am so lucky to have found friends like you!

  • Candice says:

    Blogging is a wondrous thing and wonderful world. I’m so glad to have met you – both online and in person! – and for all the many things I have learned from you and your blog.

    I don’t know why I blog, really, other than I just enjoy it. I love writing, I love opening up, I love keeping track of my life, and I love connecting with other people through our personal lives. I’m glad your husband gets it now. It’s so very real and has been, for so many of us, for so long.

    We’re prepping for the hurricane right now and someone I’ve never met in real life but who I’ve spoken to online a million times offered for me and my family to come to her house several hours away if we had to evacuate. The offer alone made tears come to my life. That’s *real* caring, from someone I’ve never seen face to face. So, yes, this is all real, very real, and wonderful.

    I think you’re wonderful and I’m so glad to know you. 🙂

  • I initially started blogging, like most others I know, to keep our out of town family up to date with our life since we lived so far away. When I realized that they barely read my words, and discovered that there was an ENTIRE WORLD outside of my little corner, I started blogging for me. I still write about my son (pretty frequently) but in a way that allows me to work through the frustrations of motherhood and life, in general. It’s been therapeutic for me in so many ways. I’m so happy that you were able to find so much encouragement here. I’ve found it as well, in different situations in my life. Big, big hugs to you and your family as you continue to grieve and move forward.

  • Fumbling through Motherhood, Marriage & A Career | The Mommy Matters says:

    […] Beauty in Blogging by Brittany @ Mommy Words: Aside from the hopes of becoming the next Pioneer Woman or striking it big as an ambassador for some remarkable company…there is a real purpose and a real passion behind these screens we sit at each day. There are real friendships, real stories, real emotions that go into our blogs and our words. This post was so, so beautiful and it did my heart good to read about the love and outpouring of support Brittany received through her blog during her time of grief. […]

  • Oh sweet thing, what beautiful words.
    I want you to guest post this exact post on my blog when its up and running again – word for word – because you have it all there … why no matter what, we come back and sit at our computers!
    and look, you even got Lynn all teary eyed 😉
    much love, now and always xxx

  • Melinda says:

    Oh, sweetie. This is the first I had heard of your loss. I am at a loss for words. Losing a baby is never easy, I’m glad you’ve found so much love and support. *hugs*

  • That was so beautiful. I’m so glad your community has brought you comfort during the last couple of weeks. I hope that your recovery, both emotional and physical, continues.

  • gigi says:

    Brittany, you are an amazing person in the online world and in the real one as well. I’m glad that your friends and followers have been able to buoy your spirits during what I know has been such a difficult time for you. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers, friend! 🙂

    • Brittany says:

      Thank you Gigi! I have fallen behind with blogging friends and I am hoping to catch up soon. I am so glad to have you as a friend and now just can’t wait to see you again!

  • Blogging is just like therapy for me. Except it’s free (mostly), and I don’t need an appointment. I’m so glad that it has afforded you the friendships and support you so need.

    I, too, lost a baby. Actually, I had two miscarriages. In a row. It was very, very hard. After the second time, I was just angry. But, those two miscarriages were sandwiched in between three other beautiful, perfect, and incredible babies.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I still think (less often now, it’s been about 3 years) once in a while about those little babies, and who they could have been. But, it wasn’t to be, and I have to accept that. If I had them, I wouldn’t have my two littlest cuddlers.

    Hugs to you!!

  • Brittany, thank you for writing this. For sharing, for being honest, for being you. I’m so glad your community rallied around you in your time of need. That is the best part of blogging for me. It surprises me always, though it shouldn’t anymore. Time and time again, I see the support and love extended to each other, and it literally warms my heart. In blogging, words are not just words, they are like little hugs.

  • Emily says:

    I blog because to express myself and to teach.

  • Loukia says:

    I just wanted to say sorry again for your loss, my friend. Hugs and love and thoughts with you.
    I love blogging so much. It’s a wonderful, wonderful community, and the people I’ve met have been nothing short of fabulous. It’s a wonderful thing, this blogging community, and I love being a part of it.

  • Bryna says:

    My husband doesn’t get it either. I don’t have a huge following, but that’s okay. The reason I write is because I have to get it out. Sometimes for myself, but sometimes as an online “diary” that I can reference for the future. These days, I’m using it kind of like an online “baby book” for my girls. I will print it out for them someday… Edited, of course! LOL

  • Alexis says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. But I’m glad that you aren’t afraid to accept peace and support from wherever it comes.

  • So sorry for your loss. I’m not even sure how I found my way to your blog but am glad I did! The internet is a marvelous place for finding like-minded friends far and wide. I too suffered miscarriages (three in all), so I count myself extremely fortunate to have had two wonderful children who are now wonderful adults. And I agree with you that the support we receive from our friends online is equal to or greater than support we sometimes receive from those physically close to us.
    Keep up the great blog. I’ll be back to read more.

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