How Some Shit Turns to Sunshine

By January 31, 2012Motherhood, Parenting

Shit Hits the Can

I am not one to curse on my blog or out loud much really.  In my head it is a whole different story, but that is beside the point.

There is no other word but shit for our weekend.  It was everywhere.  Literally.

Violet is all good with pee pee in the potty and she just LOVES wearing undies.  She even potty trained her doll.  How sweet is she?

Potty Training Baby

What she doesn’t relish is putting her nasty poop in that potty and it is driving us crazy.  It doesn’t matter if she has undies or a pull up on, she goes right in it and then takes it off with shit going everywhere and then sits on the potty, spreading the nasty all over everything.  Of course, I thought, the solution is simple.  She can be as naked as the day she is born and I will follow her around like a hawk.  When she makes that very obvious shit face, I will place her on the potty and she will learn.  It is not rocket science, right?

It could have worked, but Miles got sick this weekend. He came into my room late Friday night saying his body hurt and I heard the sound of his stomach turning.  In order to save my bed I sacrificed the carpet.  I spun him around (that’s the gentle way of putting it.  We have a brand new bed.) and he threw up all the way from my bed to the bathroom and to the potty.  He had nothing left.  It was all on the carpet.  We cuddled him and cleaned him and changed him and then I spent an hour cleaning our carpet, but I knew that this stain, like the ones in the other bedrooms, would be nearly impossible to get out.

On Saturday morning I was performing my hawk like observation of Violet when I head Miles cry out, “Mom, my toots are exploding!”.  I glanced at Violet and ran to see Miles trying to run down the hall with diarrhea running down his pant legs.  He started bawling and Ross and I were at a loss for a moment.  Don’t be shocked, we love him but that was just a lot to take in and we had to figure out a plan for getting him out of his clothes.  It turns out there is no good way and we all ended up covered in shit.  Thank God I rolled up my sleeves.  Miles’ clothes were not salvageable.  In fact, we have sacrificed 3 pairs of pants completely this week.  They were not worth saving, I promise.

This whole horror story lasted only a few minutes when we remembered Violet.  We looked in and she looked fine and happy.  Then we saw the floor.  Littered amongst the logos and the figures was a bunch of scattered turds.  One she had stepped in.  As gross as this was, it was better than the previous accident.  She looked at the poop and started to pick it up to put it in the potty.  At that moment I almost threw up too.

Needless to say, I cleaned a lot of floors Saturday morning.  I cleaned a lot of body parts.  I cleaned a lot of toys.

Let’s just say Miles got antibiotics and they have made him feel better but his toots keep exploding.  And he keeps yelling “exploding toots mom!”.

It’s been a long few days.

You might be wondering about the sunshine?  Well, first, we are getting there on the potty training.  That will be a big amen moment! Even better though, after 6 years in this house with carpets that have always needed replacing, we are getting new carpet!  My big wish got moved to the top of the list when we surveyed the damage of the past few days coupled with all the stuff that came on the carpet from the previous owners with 5 dogs.  It’s hard to move “not needed” things up the list with my husband, but this few days of shit totally did it!

I will totally be posting the whole before and after on Tip Top Nest, so I hope you can check it out!  It is my brand new home blog.  So there’s some sunshine too.  I love it!

I am off to continue moving all of the furniture out of the bedrooms.  I hope you are having a much less shitty time than I am!

Join the discussion 13 Comments

  • Amy says:

    This post made me laugh out loud! I’m sorry you had a horrible weekend, but this post is priceless. All mothers can relate to this type of misery! Glad at least you are getting new carpet out of the deal, can’t wait to see before & afters! 🙂
    Amy recently posted… 5 Reasons to Travel to Greece {Listable Life}My Profile

  • Arnebya says:

    I’m with Amy; this has me rolling. My boy is not paying much attention to our potty training efforts (still with the “I go pot” AFTER he’s done it). And unfortunately, I know about the loss of clothing from exploding toots. But, um, sssssh….it was my own. STOP LAUGHING!
    Arnebya recently posted… I’m a Scary Mommy TodayMy Profile

  • Candice says:

    Oh lord, you deserve mother of the year. This is just… yikes. I dread potty training. DREAD it. I’m hoping Nate is some kind of magical child who will take to it like a fish to water and it’s some kind of potty miracle. (I know, I have delusions.)

    As for all the sickness… ugh. We haven’t had that kind of thing descend on us yet, but at least I know when it does, I’ll have some “misery loves company” in the form of other parents. :-/

    I hope you have TONS and TONS of sunshine headed your way!

  • angela says:

    I am so very sorry about all the poop. But this did make me laugh 🙂 Yay for finding the sunshine 🙂

  • Mary Beth Elderton says:

    I am laughing almost to tears! Hilarious (in the way only an older mom whose kids are grown can find it funny!) As to throwing away the soiled underwear–how much does a pack of new ones cost? $6? I’d give $25 not to have to clean the really bad ones!

  • Lisa L says:

    I hear you! My son’s all potty trained except for the poop part too. He’ll wait till the last second to tell us “Poop” and by then some are already in his pull-ups or pants. I also clean a lot of floors & do a lot of laundry. Once I took a shower with him & he decided to poop about 5 mins later. That was sooo gross

  • Aaaaah! I am so sorry for your weekend! At least you get new carpet out of it.

  • Exploding poop is definitely a trial to bear. Love and lysol to you.
    TheKitchenWitch recently posted… About a BoyMy Profile

  • Ms Connie says:

    I love how you can see the sunshine through your ordeal. When my son was little he also learned to potty right away, but the poop took another month or two. We disposed of a lot of Bob the Builder undies… Way to see the humor in all this!
    Ms Connie recently posted… Meet Fancy Nancy: Books and MoreMy Profile

  • Oh no! Just- oh no!

    {So sorry, friend!}
    Galit Breen recently posted… Loosen, But Don’t Let GoMy Profile

  • Pam says:

    I can’t think of a better time to get new carpet.
    Potty Training, I almost bought a cat when I was training my little son. Just so he could see it go a couple of times a day.
    We did the one day potty training with the party at the end, it worked pretty well.
    Pam recently posted… Sing A Song to Get Things DoneMy Profile

  • Debbie R says:

    OH. MY. G*D. I have no more to say. Brittany, I am thinking of you with compassion (as soon as I stop laughing my ass off :))

  • Amy says:

    Holy shit, Brittany (I couldn’t resist…) – I’m ROTFLOL at this post. ‘Cause I’m a Mom. And although I’ve not been HERE, per se, “I’ve been there”. I love the humour you inject into this ever-present battle of toddler vs. parent (er…) potty training. Well written!
    Amy recently posted… travel with kids #43: paris, franceMy Profile

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge