Hoping I Don’t Screw This Up

By August 6, 2012My Life

I am sure it is not just me.  Life never gives me one thing to handle at a time.  Somehow, something happens to every part of my life at the exact same time and I am left wondering how I will ever handle it.  This is where you will find me now.  A total mess, with way too many decisions to be made and far too much on my plate.  I’m a girl who likes to be busy, but I know crazy when I see it.  Right now, it’s me.

Sometimes I am lucky and I get all overwhelmed by a million choices that don’t really mean much in the long run.  You know, too much work, too many appointments, late to pick up, forgot groceries, didn’t mail a letter, forgot something, made a mistake…and so on.  Just having a bunch of little crap happen at the same time starts the crazy.  In those times, my much calmer other half will remind me that “this is not the end of the world”.  While overwhelmed I might say something like “of course it’s not I’m not an idiot,” because I like to throw a martial fight right on top of all that stress.

This time, it is different.  We have some major decisions to make for our family and it is all happening just weeks before our oldest goes to Kindergarten.  So, now we are looking at the pile of stuff that doesn’t matter with the giant stuff that does slapped right on top.  I suppose we could really mess things up here. Make the wrong decision. I really hope I don’t screw this up.

I’m like a grown-up now and little people depend on me.  It’s not like before where I could make a giant oops and it only affected me. Now it matters.  A lot. And I am sort of wondering (like I did in the hospital when they gave me an infant to take home just because I grew her in my belly) how in the hell I am qualified to make these decisions at all?

This feels like some final exam of grown-up parent stuff so I am tackling it like I did college.  I totally believe in following my heart.  I won’t do anything I don’t believe is right.  I will be up late at night researching, studying, making check lists and pros and cons sheets.  I need my heart and brain to come together for my family.  It makes me feel better to write things on paper.  Like I am officially working hard.  I also always expect some sort of monumental realization to come from making these lists.  Hey, it could happen, right?

I don’t know how we all do it all. I do know that when we face challenges, we can rise to them and learn valuable lessons.  We can become stronger.

So, I am taking my lists and my heart and together, my husband and I will make some big decisions.  We hope we get it right.

I’m really wondering, how do you tackle big decisions for your family and do you usually find out that you and your partner are on the same page, or do you all of a sudden feel like you were born on different planets?  We’ve got a little of both going on.

Join the discussion 6 Comments

  • I’ve been there! Our first huge decision as a couple with kids was whether or not to move from Arizona to NC. We did much like you- making lists, pros and cons, research, research and more research. For us it boiled down to family– while we ADORED Arizona (I still love Phoenix more than Raleigh), being in Raleigh means we’re within 6 hours of the kids’ aunts/uncles and grandparents. Sure the Grand Canyon isn’t 4 hours away anymore but the grandparents are. And that’s what sold us.

    I’m a big believer in listening to your gut. My gut typically knows when something’s the RIGHT decision, even if it’s the harder path.

    Sending you guidance vibes!
    Melissa {momcomm} recently posted… 5 Apostrophe Mistakes that Drive Your Readers BattyMy Profile

  • Gigi927@gmail.com says:

    Ive been given a sign every time we have faced something big. And the one thing I’ve learned to do is let things flow and allow myself the time and calm so that I am actually open to seeing that sign when it appears. Because like you, I’m so earnest to make the right choice that I analyze to death. It’s a necessary exercise when the choices are so big, but God will make it easy on you and make the path obvious…if only you look :). Search “the signal” on my blog for one example!!!

    Wishing you a calm mind and open heart. Let me know Iof you need anything 🙂

  • Sending love and hugs and prayers that the best thing for your family is what ends up happening.

    Making decisions as a couple is always hard, and I don’t think there’s a recipe that fits everybody. Certainly getting away from the kids to talk is helpful, whether it’s getting a babysitter and heading out for the night, or however you can swing it.

    You’re doing all the right stuff. Lists are good. Research is good. But when it comes down to it, it may be what Melissa said–gut feeling.

    Big hugs from me, to all of you!
    Angie Kinghorn recently posted… Moms give kids a shot@lifeMy Profile

  • Dana says:

    You sound like you know what you are doing. Wishing you peace in your decision.

  • Nina says:

    Always have both going on but usually end up at the same point SOMEHOW. Good luck to you guys!
    Nina recently posted… Here, There, and EverywhereMy Profile

  • Nina says:

    Also, the blog design looks great! I’m unveiling my first “real” one in a few weeks. Have always been on the free wp.com. Self-hosting! Hooray!
    Nina recently posted… Here, There, and EverywhereMy Profile

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