I am sure it is not just me. Life never gives me one thing to handle at a time. Somehow, something happens to every part of my life at the exact same time and I am left wondering how I will ever handle it. This is where you will find me now. A total mess, with way too many decisions to be made and far too much on my plate. I’m a girl who likes to be busy, but I know crazy when I see it. Right now, it’s me.
Sometimes I am lucky and I get all overwhelmed by a million choices that don’t really mean much in the long run. You know, too much work, too many appointments, late to pick up, forgot groceries, didn’t mail a letter, forgot something, made a mistake…and so on. Just having a bunch of little crap happen at the same time starts the crazy. In those times, my much calmer other half will remind me that “this is not the end of the world”. While overwhelmed I might say something like “of course it’s not I’m not an idiot,” because I like to throw a martial fight right on top of all that stress.
This time, it is different. We have some major decisions to make for our family and it is all happening just weeks before our oldest goes to Kindergarten. So, now we are looking at the pile of stuff that doesn’t matter with the giant stuff that does slapped right on top. I suppose we could really mess things up here. Make the wrong decision. I really hope I don’t screw this up.
I’m like a grown-up now and little people depend on me. It’s not like before where I could make a giant oops and it only affected me. Now it matters. A lot. And I am sort of wondering (like I did in the hospital when they gave me an infant to take home just because I grew her in my belly) how in the hell I am qualified to make these decisions at all?
This feels like some final exam of grown-up parent stuff so I am tackling it like I did college. I totally believe in following my heart. I won’t do anything I don’t believe is right. I will be up late at night researching, studying, making check lists and pros and cons sheets. I need my heart and brain to come together for my family. It makes me feel better to write things on paper. Like I am officially working hard. I also always expect some sort of monumental realization to come from making these lists. Hey, it could happen, right?
I don’t know how we all do it all. I do know that when we face challenges, we can rise to them and learn valuable lessons. We can become stronger.
So, I am taking my lists and my heart and together, my husband and I will make some big decisions. We hope we get it right.
I’m really wondering, how do you tackle big decisions for your family and do you usually find out that you and your partner are on the same page, or do you all of a sudden feel like you were born on different planets? We’ve got a little of both going on.