I am one of 4 children. One quarter of my sibling circle. I am the oldest and the momma of the group. Sometimes I am bossy, and alwasy have been. Usually I am protective, sometimes overly so. My love for my brother and sisters is unconditional. That doesn’t always mean it is easy or that we like each other, but I love them no matter what.
When you grow up together yu never really think about how far apart you may someday be. I never really knew I would have so many days when I wanted a hug – not from my mom or even my husband but from my brother or sister.
And now, they are all so far away. And I get no hugs.
It has been years since we have all been together, and the last time, we didn’t even get a picture. This holiday season, things will be no different. We will not share a group hug.
I miss them. Somedays I wish families just all stayed together.
So I’m just saying here how much I love them, and miss them and hey guys…this is for you.
Grambo Sambo…I missed you terribly on all of your deployments and while you were halfway across the world risking your life for the freedom of others, I spent sleepless nights praying for you and waiting to hug you again. Little brother – I love you. I’m so glad you came home safely. I can’t wait to see you and hug you and watch you play with my kids. They love you too. You are full of light and love and I know things have been tough since you came home…so tough. You are strong. Your courage inspires me. And of course, see above, I love you unconditionally forever and ever.
Katie, our Katstopher…I miss you every day. You were here for so long and then so much happened and then you were gone…trying to find yourself, trying to build a new life. I am so proud of what you have accomplished and I have missed you terribly while you have been at Camp Pendleton. Little Sister, I love you, and I hope you always come home safely. I can’t wait to see you and hug you and watch you play with my kids. They love you too. You are full of so much passion and love and potential. It is all possible sweetie. And of course, see above, I love you unconditionally forever and ever.
Tay Tay…wow. You have been gone, halfway across the world, for more than a year. Some days I wondered where you were. Some days I worried about your safety. I am so amazed at all the places you have been and the courage it took to leave with just a backpack and travel the world. I can’t even tell you how wonderful it was to talk to you the other day, for the first time in a year. To hear your voice. To see your smile. For you to see Violet jumping and laughing for the first time. I wish I had figured out Skype sooner, and that you were nearer my time zone. New Zealand can be tough to coordinate, babe. I will miss you again at Christmas. We all will. I hope you are finding what you are looking for. I hope you are finding your creative inspiration, and that your words are flowing freely. They are beautiful. Little sister, I love you, and I hope you come home soon and stay safe. I can’t wait to see you and hug you and watch you play with my kids (and meet Violet!) whenever that may be. You are creative and free and and beautiful and you will do great things with your art. And of course, see above, I love you unconditionally forever and ever. (This is Taylor on Halloween. Yes – I wish I had vistas like that in my life.)
Siblings…its a crazy kind of love. We have laughed and cried and wrestled and hugged and loved and hated and pushed and pulled and now, we are not together.
But I hope one day soon we are.
Because I sort of feel like I am missing a little piece of me.
And it’s an important piece.
p.s. Tell me about your siblings! Go ahead, make me jealous…do you see them all the time? Are you close? Do you miss them so so much like I do?