Back to the Grind

By August 3, 2009Parenting

My husband lost his job in April.  Like so many Americans, we wondered where life would take us, and where we would live, what we would do and how things would change.

Still, we are  lucky. We have been careful over the years and have saved. Also, unlike many who are out of a job, Ross worked for the same company for 12 years and was given a very respectable severance package that included our health care.  This allowed us to breathe a huge sigh of relief while he looked for other jobs.  COBRA is not cheap and no one wants to be ponying up for self pay insurance while pregnant and jobless if they can avoid it.

Now, it turns out we are even luckier.  We found a job in Charlotte, NC, where we live and today is the first day.

I already miss our little break from the grind.  The kids got to see their Dad more than they ever had.  I really think that he and Sophia bonded more than ever before.  Ross got to see Miles take his first steps.  He got to walk them to school.  We got to plan family adventures and include the whole family.  This is all very sweet you say.

Or you might have already realized what I just did as I watched the car pull out of the driveway this morning.

I had help for 3 months, and now it is gone.  I am now again just mom and the kids.  Waking up – just me.  Breakfast – just me.  Activities – just me.   Oftentimes since Ross travels a lot bath and bedtime is – yep – just me.  But the worst is this.  Ross likes to cook.  He liked making meal plans.  Even though it bothered me because I felt like he was in my office space a little too much, he even couponed and went grocery shopping.  He cooked, for the most part, the entire time he was out of work.  And now – you guessed it – Dinner Time – just me.  Dinner time is the bane of my existence.  I liked cooking before I had kids and now it is like a cloud that hangs over my head.   What will everyone eat?  What time should dinner be ready?  Do I have everything to make a meal?  Did I leave enough time in my day to make it?  How can I become fabulously wealthy so I don’t have to cook at all?  (Yes, I think this quite often.)

I still do not have a plan for tonight.  It is 1:30.  I have an O.B. appointment at 2:45 that now I will have to take the kids to.  Yipee – just the thought of taking both kids in that tiny exam room for Sophia to ask why I have to take my underpants off and then what the doctor is looking at makes me gag.  Then the thought of coming home to deal with dinner makes me want to cry.  Given that I am pregnant – it is a total possibility that I will do both. This afternoon may bring me, gagging, to tears.  There is no chance I will look like a human much less a woman when Ross gets home.  Not that he is expecting me to but I always thought it would be nice to look all sexy when the hubby walks in the door.

So, we all prefer some things over others.  I hate dinner while my husband hates lots of planned activities with the kids.  I am going to go on a road trip with the kids since we have the last two weeks of summer WITH NO SCHEDULED ACTIVITIES and no family vacation because Ross went back to work.  I am insanely going to take my 2 kids, ages 1 and 2 on a trip to see the sights of my state North Carolina and then head up North.  I am aiming to find places to stay never more than 3 hours apart so that the driving is manageable.  I am also aiming to avoid cooking my own dinner (I am happy to help) the entire time.  I swear to you having a plan for the day and not worrying about dinner will be worth the pain of packing for and actually executing this trip.

I have lost my mind but I will gain some precious memories with my kids.   I will take tons of pictures because they won’t remember a damn bit of it.  That’s the kicker with this age.  They don’t even know how much I rock!

P.S.  Wherever you live check out your states’ sites and state or national parks.  Lots of times they are free (always leave a small donation) and even if not, it is a great way to support you state with a small donation.   Many historical sites are also free or very cheap for little ones and while they may seem like they are just for the older kid and grown-up crowd they actually have tons of stuff for little ones.

P.P.S. I lived in NY for years and did not go to the Statue of Liberty.  If you are within an hour or two and you have not done that one, get your butt in the car or on the train or the subway and GO!  We will do this when the kids are a little older.  I can’t wait.

Join the discussion 8 Comments

  • Theta Mom says:

    Sorry to hear about the job loss, but looks like it was all meant to be, especially since he found something right nearby!
    Yup, you’re like the rest of us. All meals, every bath, play time, it’s all us moms…but it’s all worth it! 🙂

  • Mom says:

    Great description of Moms everywhere with multiple small children and working husbands…..”just me”! Be sure to stop and see us in D.C.! David says Sophia has to call and ask him to come to Charleston or somewhere..he will do it for her!! 🙂 Mom

  • I feel for you with all the mommy stuff. Sometimes I think that being the one to hold the full time job is easier than the “mommy” job!! Hang in there!!

  • I understand and it’s ok to sometimes take a day to just process everything. I am sure you felt a little better after just blogging about it. I will say, you are incredibly brave to take a road trip pregnant with 2 little ones. Good for you mom! One day they will realize just how much you rock. 🙂 Have a great and safe trip. Don’t forget to share the pictures.

  • Nobody has lost their job in our family, but coming back from 2 weeks vacation and all of a sudden being alone again with little L and the house and the meals… I can feel your blues. I raise my coffee cup in your direction. Cheers!

    PS: If you are up to such playful stuff – I have a Meme for you over at mine:

  • Erm. Up for it. Not to it. Of course. Must learn to concentrate…

  • yonca says:

    We live in Long Island. Went once to see Statue of Liberty. I remember we waited long time to take a ferry but it’s worth it! Beautiful!
    Thanks for following my blog. I’m following you too now 🙂
    Enjoy your trip!

  • jess says:

    I love this post. I love even more that i read it after i read the Mother post, so it made it all more relevant. I am so with you on the dinner thing, and all the alone things. I am actually looking forward to mike not finding a job for at least a couple of weeks after we (finally) move back in the house so we can spend time together, he can cook, I can get a break… financially it will suck, but mentally? Totally worth it. Give a shout when you’re up here – would love to catch up!