The Case of the Itchy Scratchy Baby and the Nipple that Wasn’t

Let the detective work begin.  Today started out totally normal. You know, complete chaos in the morning. As per our usual routine I ran chasing Violet around the house in an effort to force her prized Tinkerbell nightgown off of her body and momhandle an outfit on her.  It’s fun times here in the a.m.  My little peach was more unhappy than normal and as soon as I pulled her nightgown off I saw why.

She had a mystery rash covering her body.  This photo was taken a little before 9 a.m.  By 10 a.m. the rash had spread to her face and the entire red portion was becoming brighter and very swollen.  Of course I called the doctor instead of typing my fears to Dr. Google when I saw the nasty red area was surrounding her eyes.

Violet Hives

$25 Bucks for Mommy Guilt and a Mystery

Of course, as usual after you pay $25 dollars to see a professional and not the free Dr. Google, the problem is completely your fault and basically untreatable.  Violet has hives.  She is allergic to something and I am supposed to figure out which one of the million things that child touches or puts in her mouth causes this outbreak.  I am supposed to go through these million things with the knowledge that 2/3 of the time, according to the real doctor, we will never figure out what the offensive item is.

If we cannot deduce by amazing sleuthing what item causes this and it remains all over her body in 2 freaking weeks, then we will go to the allergist.  So you know, the Dr. said that often this also yields no additional information but for the list of terrible possible allergies my child might have.  Let me just say we run the gamut of allergies in this family already.  Shellfish, bees, nuts, and even grass run in my husband’s lovely blood.  Awesome.  I’m pretty sure that $50 specialist co-pay would lead to something just awful.

So we begin the process of watching every single thing she touches and hoping that this goes away so she can enjoy her 2nd birthday on Thursday.

A Molloscum is Better than a Nipple

The day got even better when I asked about the bumps on Miles’ legs that have recently become very painful and irritated.  I was told he has very common internal virus that produces wart like bumps called Molloscum Contagiosum.  About 50% of children will get them but Miles has extremely sensitive skin and as his immune system recognized these molloscums (yuck!) it did what it was supposed to and started to attack them.  Now the back of his legs is a bloody infected mess and according  to the doctor I should be cheering on his immune system for finally getting it right.  This is less than a huge Wahoo in my book.

What we are really pumped about is the fact that we thought that one of those molloscum on his chest, after a few glasses of wine, looked a lot like a third nipple.  Well we all know from Chandler on Friends that a third nipple is like totally uncool and people just want to see it and whether or not is has hair and they call it a nubbin to make it cute and well, we just hoped he didn’t have one.  We would have loved him and his third nipple, but we are happy with that molloscum that will go away after his body physically attacks and mutilates it.

Now Investing in Band-Aid and Really Cool Pants

As you may have guessed, that whole contagiosum thing means this can be spread and so, for Miles to go to school, his third nipple like molloscum will need to be covered with a water tight bandaid and he will need to wear pants to cover his knees.  Let’s hope these babies go away before the southern summer roasts my poor little guy.  Good news is this type of bump is not spreadable to me or to other grownups unless we have a compromised immune system.  So, last night’s cuddle fest will not give me the bumps.  However, there are no more baths together, which will devastate Miles and he has to wear his long pants or jammies while playing with the girls.  Poor kid.  He loves nothing more than being naked.  So this blows.

As far as illness and affliction, I know this is small potatoes compared to some stuff out there, and I am grateful that our illnesses are more gross than serious.  Still, could today have sucked much more? Probably not.

I am off to make lists of a million possible allergens.  I hope you have something more fun on your agenda.

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