I almost never speak of my husband on this blog. He is usually fabulously awesome and hey, I’m not a dummy. It would not be good if I constantly put our laundry on the Internet or just made fun of him for all that normal guy stuff. However, I have my limits. This time it has gone too far. I cannot resist.
This man deserves to be heckled. Heckle in the comments. Heckle on facebook or twitter. I will make sure he sees them all….If I do not die of heat exhaustion first.
It has been in the 90′s lately. Our upstairs air conditioning broke last week and we have been living and sleeping, all 5 of us, in the downstairs. The kids are all sharing the pull out couch and my hot blooded hubby and I are sharing the full bed that I cannot believe we ever slept in together. Still, we knew we could make it to Thursday, when for the bargain price of almost $1000, the air conditioning will be fixed.
Today, it was 93 degrees. I have been working my ass of spring cleaning my house and when I came inside to stand on top of the vent and blow freezing cold air up my shorts, I knew something was wrong. Sweat was dripping down my legs and all I felt was warm air. The downstairs A/C was out. I ran to the thermostat. It was noon. The temperature was set to 72 and it was 78 degrees in the house. By 2 o’clock it was 82 degrees. When my husband came home from work at 6 o’clock the coolest place in our house was 85 degrees.
We put the kids to bed and after a few minutes laying on the couch, he informed me that he would have to bail. He could not make it in this heat. He kissed me goodbye and went to a friend’s house for the night.
He went to a lake house with air conditioning.
So, while my fingers stick to the keys of my keyboard, he is sitting comfortably in an air conditioned house on the lake. That probably means there is a breeze too. My only reprieve is to shove as much of my body as possible into the freezer every few minutes. While that last of our children just fell asleep (at 10:30 p.m.) he is fast asleep in child free silence. I am calling him out. He is being a wimp here. I mean, we have fans and if you don’t move things aren’t that bad. The freezer is quite refreshing and I am told that by 2 a.m. the temperature outside may drop to a lovely 70 degrees. I can make it.
Why did I not go to the lake house? Well, it is 20 minutes away and I will not risk missing my last pre-school morning. Tomorrow is the last day before the long hot summer and I WILL have my full 3 hours of freedom. Also, the thought of packing us up was worse than this heat. Going anywhere with 3 kids 4 and under is quite a process. I know how to handle the heat and I am a Yankee. He was born and raised in North Carolina…he should be able to handle a little sweat.
Since he has abandoned ship, let the heckling of this man I love begin. Bring your best. He always tells me I should be better at laughing at myself. Well, here’s his chance to prove a point and finally my chance to poke fun. I am like a mother warrior over here. I am dripping with sweat and ready for battle.
Who can take more heat in your marriage?