There is Sunshine in Hell

Let me begin by describing one version of hell for a mom.  That mom is me.

7:30 p.m. Nurse Violet and put the kids to bed.

8:30 p.m. Miles begins screaming and has gotten his arm stuck in his Batman house when he should have been sleeping.

9:00 p.m. Sophia wakes up saying her hoo ha itches.  We discuss, we clean, we go potty, she goes back to bed after 5 songs.

10:00 p.m. Violet wakes up screaming and being that I am a woos and cannot bear the whole CIO thing and she is teething, I nurse her again.

11:45 p.m. Violet again.  See above.

12:15 a.m. I throw in the towel and hit the hay.  Sophia is sleeping with me because Ross is in Switzerland for the week.

1:15 a.m.  Sophia is snoring so loudly so I try to gently kick her like I do Ross when he snores like a beast.  She starts to wiggle a bit and the snoring stops.  But then she has some sort of spasm and kicks me in the stomach.  Hard.  I am tired and annoyed.

2: 45 a.m. Violet the baby who does not sleep is awake again and there is no way anyone could do the CIO with this child.  She is like a banshee.  I give her my boob again and she bites me.  I am starting to feel beat up.

3:15 a.m. Sophia falls out of bed and we do the songs again.  For the third time.  I am sick of singing.

5:00 a.m.  Violet.  Fit of rage.  Enough said.

5: 45 a.m. Miles is awake.  I hear him turn on the TV and I do not care.  Thank God for Nick. Jr.

6: 15 a.m. Finally sleeping and the phone rings.  Ross is calling from one of the most gorgeous places in the world and the phone wakes up me and Sophia.  He thought it was later.  Miles comes running in.  Miles’ crazy run wakes up Violet.  The day has begun.

6:30 a.m. Change 2 of the nastiest diapers ever.  Miles has some sort of poop issue that is supposed to get better with potty training but he cannot potty train with his bottom so sore and poop like this.  Lose-Lose.  Violet is better on the potty than he is.

6:45 a.m. Knock down drag out fight with Sophia over her clothes.  She has ripped them out of the closet I spent more than an hour organizing and my short fuse is almost shot.  Her refusal to put on socks in 30 degree weather is the last straw.  I yell.  Immediate mommy guilt on top of exhaustion.

7:30 a.m. I have a sore spot on my face in the place where I get my twice a year pimple.   This just pisses me off.  The lump grows by the second and I can’t stop touching it.

7: 45 a.m. Miles spills his entire cup of juice while “drinking” it with a spoon.  My mood is black people…black.

8:00 a.m. Violet wants her own spoon and while eating her bananas throws a fit and grabs my spoon and then spreads all the banana in her hair.  Lovely.

9:00 a.m. I get to school and have forgotten Violet’s backpack.  I must go home and come back.

9:45-12:30 I get nothing done fielding calls from family, dealing with an email issue and being too cranky to do anything.

1:00 p.m. While feeding Violet Miles wanted to show me something.  When I am done feeding her I follow him to the back room where he has dumped out 2 whole boxes of cereal and is proud to show me his “cereal room”.  He said he decorated it.  I was proud of myself for laughing instead of screaming.  I got out the vacuum.  I simply was not going to crawl on my hands and knees again or pick up one more cheerio right then.  (I spend a lot of time picking up Cheerios.)

2:00 p.m. It seems that there will be no quiet time.  No naps.  The kids fought.  Sophia insists on picking up Violet all the time and she always gets hurt.  I asked Miles what he wanted to do and he actually said “I’m busy fighting with Sophia”.    I kid you not.

3:00 p.m. I look at the clock and think I might cry.  I thought it had to be 5 at least.

3:30 p.m. I tried to make the kids play a cleaning game to rectify the chaos of their rooms.  Sophia gleefully announced how funny it was that they were messing up while I was cleaning up.  I was defeated.  They would not listen.  They were possessed.  I swear.  Time outs did not work.  Threats of lost privileges did not work (they never do).  They won.  They jumped off their beds and tore out all the dress up and laughed at how tired I was.  My kids made fun of me.

4:30 p.m. I make a pizza.  We are eating early and going to bed.  

5:30 p.m. I open the gate for Sophia to go to the bathroom and totally forget that Violet is out of her high chair.  She clearly went immediately for the stairs and by the thumps I would say she fell down 5.  I was terrified and she was screaming and when I picked her up she scratched the pimple off my face.  It hurt so badly.  Now it looks terrible.

6:30 p.m. Frazzled and exhausted, we are in our jammies and reading books while Violet climbs all over us trying to open my shirt.   After 2 books I give up to nurse her and let the kids watch a show.  Again, thank you Dora, you little pint sized peace maker you…thank you.

7:15 p.m. We have sung our songs and given our kisses.  I have nursed Violet and put her down.

24 hours of agony.  This was my day from hell.

Now you want sunshine?  Well, we are all healthy and blessed and yada yada yada…but get this.  I missed this email from my husband early in the morning during this hot mess.

“I’m exhausted but have to say that the view of the alps from 35,000 feet as the sun rises is amazing, but still doesn’t compare to seeing your smiling face next to me in the morning”

Stop the clock.  What?  My husband is amazing but this is WAY out of the norm and above the awesome scale.  I am so glad I found it late so it could soothe the day away.  Had I seen it in the morning, I may not have had the time to think about how lucky I am to have him and to go to sleep dreaming about seeing that view with him one day.

Such a small thing…and it almost made me forget the whole awful day.  It certainly helped me forgive.

What’s your worst 24 hours of a normal day?  Come on – bring it.

Comments

    • says

      I have alwasy wanted four. But I did tweet that this made me reconsider. However, none of these monsters smelled as good or acted as nice as a tiny little one!

    • says

      Yes, good thing, but let me tell you…my sense of humor this week is almost gone. The next time I see a Cheerios room I *might* not think its funny. Is it appropriate punishment to make him eat them all?

  1. Katy says

    I got frustrated for you reading this! I cannot even imagine how difficult it can be with your husband in another country and no one to run interference. Sometimes it’s all I can do to make it until my DH makes it home at 5:30 or 6. So glad your husband was able to at least lift your mood with his message, even if you got it a little late.

  2. joann mannix says

    Here’s why we’re going to be friends: You started off your comment to me by saying “Holy Crap.” This is my catch phrase.

    You, like me, think it was your forgotten destiny, to be famous.

    You write long posts which I may or may not know something about.

    You write about itchy hoo ha’s and absentee husbands and days from hell which I definitely know about all of these things.

    Loved your husband’s email. My husband did not venture as far, but he was just last week in one of my favorite cities, San Francisco, doing one of my favorite things, which is to ride a bike through the city and over the Golden Gate Bridge. And as he filmed the splendor of the city sitting on his bike on this peak overlooking it all, he said, “This is gorgeous, but not half as gorgeous as the sight of you will be to me. I miss you so much.” Oh, I just had to share that with someone who knows.

    Have a blast at the satanic Disney. If you need some tips, shoot me an email. I’m there entirely too much and I know everything there is to know about that horrific place. Dining, hotels, parking, secrets, I’ve got it all.

  3. Bryna says

    WOW! None of my days have been as frustrating as yours. I was getting frustrated for you while reading it!!! I have had my lousy nights of sleep when Nola decides that 5:30am is time to get up because “I’m hungry” or “I want to watch Elvis”. But I can usually tell her that it’s not time to get up yet and she’ll go back to sleep. Nothing even CLOSE to this!!!!!

    This is making me reconsider my slim chance that I may possibly have an inkling of a feeling that I would like to have 3 kids…

  4. says

    Okay, I would have LOST MY SHIT back at the “cereal incident.” That you continued to function for hours afterwards is a testament to your strength of character.

    After a day like that, you needed that email–tell your husband that he’s a genius.

  5. says

    yes, sounds like my house…chaos reigns…but I have four kids so it’s even louder and messier…
    and yesterday my 6 year old (the oldest) decided to make a sand sculpture at the kitchen table out of the sand from his sneakers…it also involved glue…
    picture it…
    isn’t motherhood grand?

  6. says

    I’m sorry, but I had to laugh the more I read. I have five boys and I can so totally relate to days like that. Two boys vomiting at my feet seconds apart. Toddler dumping out bag of flour on floor…twice in same day. Preschooler breaking my front tooth with an impulsive tap with a wooden hammer. Teething, nursing toddler that thinks I’m a pacifier all night. Days when it’s one thing after another and you feel so defeated, you feel like running away from home. But those moments pass and all your child has to do is look into your eyes and say “I love you, Momma” and all is forgiven.
    Christy recently posted… Bugaloo Baby Shoes Closing SaleMy Profile

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge