Comment with Class

Join Mommy Words and Comment with Class

Comment (as defined by Merriam Webster)

1.  a note explaining, illustrating, or criticizing the meaning of a writing and 2.  an observation or remark expressing an opinion or attitude

Class (as defined by Merriam Webster)

1.  high quality : elegance and 2.  the best of its kind

As people, we are all different.  We have unique lifestyles, beliefs and focus.  We come from different places and are headed in various directions. Our selves are shaped by a million different forces such that none of us are identical.  This is what makes the world so fascinating, so brilliant and sometimes so difficult.  We can never fully understand where even our best friends have been much less grasp what has formed the strangers we come in contact with each and every day.

We are all so different yet we are all equal in that our opinions and our lifestyles deserve respect.  Not necessarily agreement, but respect.

Over the past few years I have added so many relationships to my life through this blog and becoming a part of the blogging community.  Usually I am humbled and amazed at the level of the support we provide for each other on topics spanning the spectrum of our modern world.    However, there is a sense of distance that people have in this online world, particularly when touchy subjects are broached, and I sometimes think we forget that there are real people with real lives behind the blogs we read and comment on.

In “real life” I have seen a lot of rude comments, sideways glances and rolled eyes.  I have been privy to whispered secrets and admit that I am not perfect and have also engaged in gossip or perhaps cast a judgement without fully considering what I was doing.  I am ashamed of that past behavior and have worked hard to accept all viewpoints and lifestyles without passing judgement.  Of course real life is not perfect…but boundaries do exist.

In this online world, a somewhat rude comment quickly turns into a tirade or a personal attack the likes of which one doesn’t see every day on the playground.  The relative anonymity of the Internet creates an environment where some people forget their manners and start spitting out some nasty words in comment sections and on twitter and facebook.   Even when a comment is given that is not a direct attack, oftentimes it seems that there is no thought as to whether or not the words will hurt someone else.

In Blogging, like in life, a comment can lift you up or pull you down.  It doesn’t hurt any less because it’s online.  If anything, at least for me, it hurts more, because I don’t know where it might be coming from.

My mother always said “Is it truthful? Is it needful? Is it kind?”

Well, if an article is published that you disagree with it is perfectly acceptable to register your disagreement and state your own view.  Your view is your truth, in this case.  If you have stated your view and then bash the author or another commenter, I would say that falls into the “not needful” and “not kind” categories.  I am not asking that people blow sunshine up the bums of bloggers during a disagreement.  It might be better said…”Is it unkind?”  Even with people that I differ with on every issue under the sun, I try not to be unkind.  I don’t have to agree with you to like you or even love you.  So if you are commenting and it is unkind, reword it.  If you can’t be anything but nasty, exercise some control and move on.  A nasty comment will not help any discussion.  If you must totally vent write your own blog post and think before you publish.

I am asking you to join with me in encouraging Comments with Class.   Comments are the lifeblood of blogging.  We develop friendships and discuss issues.  We learn from each other.  Great comments are a part of great blogging.  Even when we disagree, let’s keep it classy.  And hey, classy can be funny and it goes without saying that in mothering all talk of bodily function and such will be permitted and even encouraged in the spirit of camaraderie.  Oh, and let’s stay classy on twitter and facebook too.

If you are in, feel free to take the super chic little Comment with Class badge for your sidebar or anywhere on your blog.  It will be on mine and I will probably use it at the bottom of posts that might be prime targets for people who bite when they type.   The image will link here to this post.

Here’s a little one for you!

Join Mommy Words and Comment with Class

I hope that we can continue to make friends and engage in healthy debate while respecting each others choices.  That would be a wonderful thing.   Please let me know if you have anything to add or want to address.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Comments

  1. says

    Great post! You’re so right about negative comments spiraling out of countrol. It’s really easy to speak your mind when you know you don’ t have to deal with the repercussions first hand. Blogs are full of opinions, and people should always use politeness, tact, and proper decorum when responding. There is a way to politely disagree! :)
    Jessica07 recently posted… Investing In Another MomMy Profile

  2. says

    You go sister! I haven’t received any classless comments so far (hope it stays that way!), but I’ve whitnessed some doozies! I’m going to post your button. BTW, and please take this as “helpful”, but I’m having a hard time reading your content with the dark purple background. Maybe lighten it up just a little? Pretty color, though.
    A Jennuine Life recently posted… A Jennuine Life is Moving to BlogspotMy Profile

    • says

      Thanks! And yes it is helpful…I just sent you an email though. Are you talking about my content or the Comment Button color? My content is on a white background with a purple border around the site on every browser I have. If it is on a purple background for you I will figure it out I would just love to know what browser you are using. I always love to know when people experience strange things on my blog so I can fix them.

  3. says

    I so so so agree with you. I’m starting to think it’s some kind of exclusive art form to express yourself in a way that registers a differing opinion without completely debasing the person with whom you disagree.

    Seriously.

    How difficult is it to think about your words and then fairly articulate your opposing view? If anything, “commenting with class” increases the impact of your divergent feelings. When I see a comment that is merely antagonistic, I discount it immediately.

    I applaud your effort and wish you luck ~ strong work!

    JCG

  4. says

    The anonymity of the Internet makes it so easy for people to lose sight of civility and react with knee-jerk rudeness. Just because you aren’t face-to-face with someone does not give you license to wound. Brava!

  5. says

    This is an awesome idea. I love both the message of this post and your button. In my opinion, the best part of blogging is getting to peek into someone’s life. Rude comments are so unnecessary (it is possible to disagree respectfully) and they just make the commentator look bad.

    • says

      I get my feelings hurt easily too online but also, I have realized that even the big news sites are sometimes hiding real people behind those articles. Thank you!

  6. Jlynn says

    Thank you,thank you, thank you. I have been struggling with a lot of commenters on many differnt blogs lately who leave rude, cruel comments and then those commenters who trash the first commenter for being rude and cruel.

    This is exactly what I wish I had been able to say.

    • says

      Yes and it is so not tough to comment as anonymous or just Madge (as Scary Mommy’s nasty commenter calls herself). I have to say though, I hate it just as much when discussion get so heated that people just forget we are all real and lash out in a comment. All of a sudden all the comments explode and when it’s really bad…so does twitter. It ends up being a lot of hurt feelings and a nasty taste in yoour mouth when what was intended was open discussion.

  7. says

    I haven’t had this issue. But I totally understand and agree. I’m almost too cautious with my commenting, using the “Thumper Rule” on most occasions. (If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything.)

    And usually when there’s a lot about a post you dislike, somewhere in there is something positive you can comment on to soften the blow and make it a little more easy to swallow and less abrasive. (Totally adding the button)
    MommaResa recently posted… Weenie MomMy Profile

  8. says

    I totally agree! I have seen so many nasty comments on blogs & internet articles & I just shake my head. You KNOW that the person would never say something like that if they were standing face to face with the blogger/author. I try to live by the motto to never write anything that I wouldn’t be willing to say if I was face to face.

  9. Christa Johnston says

    I’m amazed and disappointed at the “courage” of the ridiculous people who leave mean, harsh and unnecessary comments. People pretend to act tough when they’re from behind their computer screen.

    • says

      What was so interesting (and why I tweeted an older post) were the comments on Jill’s post last week, which she has now removed. I thought of you and the Blogger Body project as I read horrible comments about overweight people and totally threw up in my mouth. Even without anonymity, people were coming out of the woodwork to talk about overweight people in Disney World on scooters and how much it pissed them off. I was shocked, especially as I saw names of people that I know joining in. It got out of control. And yes, anonymity is ridiculous. Come on out if you have something to say.

  10. says

    This post is completely dead on. The internet has given people the sense of too much power and I go by the decree that if I wouldn’t say it to their face, I won’t type it ever. Disagreeing is way different that a blatant all out attack. I am all for a great debate!

    I will put up this on my blog as a gentle reminder….
    Jen recently posted… Follow Up- Are Online Colleges the new way to goMy Profile

  11. says

    Hi! I’m sue and found your blog through various blog links LOL However, I am lovin’ it! :P
    Your statements here ring so true in my life as far as wanting to change who I’ve developed into (as far as the gossipy, critical personality to lately realizing how important people really are in our lives. I feel blessed to find bloggers such as yourself that speak from the heart and are not afraid to admit that you are human just like the rest of us. Thank you my friend. I look forward to my visits here. :)
    sue morris recently posted… Girls DayMy Profile

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