A Letter to Violet on Her First Birthday

Dear Violet,

You are 1 today baby girl.  Happy Birthday! 

It has been quite a year.  A year ago I went into the hospital praying with every part of me that you would be okay. You were breech for most of the 38 weeks you spent in my body.  I tried everything to get you to flip but I guess you were just happy being right side up, with your head towards my heart.  I had extremely low amniotic fluid and you did not or could not move. I had hoped you were just lazy. We got you checked every single week with ultrasounds and NSTs but no one really knew why you didn’t move.  It was lovely to see your beautiful face so often, but some very scary diseases were mentioned.  Your daddy and I already loved you so much, we just wanted to meet you and hold you and show you we loved you no matter what.  When I got to the hospital I was prepped for a c-section and told that the chances of flipping you during the ECV procedure I elected were slim.   I was really scared, baby girl, and wanted to have you naturally and not add the risks of surgery to all my other fears.  After 3 terribly painful tries, my Dr. and 2 nurses were able to physically push you around and move your head down.  The relief I felt is indescribable.  You were stubborn like your mama but in the end you came out the easy way, and I want to thank you for that.

Violet, you were 5 pounds 12 ounces of perfection.  We were scared of so many things but you came out kicking and screaming and pink and I cried huge tears of joy.   Actually, of all my babies you came out the healthiest.  Sophia was born with all these holes in her heart.  Miles was born with plagiocephaly and his noggin was shaped like my pelvis.  You were a tiny little spitfire who came into this world ready to play ball.   It felt like a miracle.  I introduced you to the world right here on the day you were born.

Every day I fall more in love with you.  You are a fabulous cuddler.  You love to sing.  You love to kiss and clap and click your little tongue.  Violet, your brother and sister play rough, and you can take it.  Even when you were tiny and got stepped on or pulled or rolled over, you usually laughed and started kicking.  That’s my girl.  You are one tough cookie.  These days you are a rough one yourself and love to roll around with the big kids.   You are also the sweetest thing.  When someone is crying, you go to them.  When I am crying, you put your cheek next to mine and hum and honey, it helps.  Thank you.  Having a big heart will bring you more joy in your life than having anything else.  That gift is priceless.  You, my sweet girl, are priceless.

Violet, you laugh and smile the most when you are jumping or dancing.  So for you honey, Happy Birthday.  I hope you laugh and dance forever.

Love and Kisses,

Mommy

Comments

  1. says

    So so (so) beautiful. January 19th is my mother’s birthday. Incredible women are born on January 19th.

    Here’s my favorite line:
    “I tried everything to get you to flip but I guess you were just happy being right side up, with your head towards my heart.”

    That’s a sentence I wish I’d written. Except without all the fear and pain yout breech circumstances brought you.

    But look what happened? Fear, pain, and then…Violet. Which made it all okay.
    Kind of like motherhood in a nutshell.

    Thanks for sharing your baby’s birthday with everyone. Hooray for January 19th.

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