I Want to be a Yes Man…Again

This is the last of five posts over ten days as part of Momalom’s Five for Ten.  We are all writing about the same topics in an honest effort to get to know one another better and make more connections.

Our first topic was Courage.   The second was Happiness.  The third was memory.  The forth was Lust. Today’s is Yes! 

If you are already a regular Mommy Words visitor, I hope you enjoy these posts.  If you are here as a part of the Five for Ten, welcome!  I can’t wait to get to know you.

Something must have scared the crap out of me at some point because I am not the “try anything” girl I used to be.   I have gone from the adventurous (not with food) gal who was always up for something new and fabulous to being nervous about a double date with my husband.  I kid you not.  Something is wrong. 

I used to possess a gumby like flexibility that allowed me to be cool with auditioning for musicals that I got (and didn’t get), dropping everything at any hour for live music dressing in a glittering gown and attending a ball.  I used to laugh hysterically all the time as I thrust myself into new experiences, went out on limbs to make new friends and said yes to most of the things that came my way.  I had a hell of a lot of fun.

Now I am a coiled up ball of rigid likes and dislikes and I feel like I am choking.  God, I said it.  I said what has been on my heart for years.  I need to address the questions my darling husband asks me all the time because I ask them too.   I want to bring back the crazy girl he married.  We both liked that girl a lot…and I think the kids wouldn’t mind if I shared a little crazy with grownups.  There will be a few things I will not bring back because people with children just don’t roll that way, but otherwise, I know it is game on for me.  I need to find my yes man or risk losing that part of myself.

I think it starts with just saying yes to simple things and not backing down with some silly excuse.  I am not the only mom I know who does this.  I sit around saying how much I need a girl’s night and then as it approaches I put up my own roadblocks.  I’m really tired or the kids have left me very crabby or I feel like I have nothing left to give at the end of the day…and so we reschedule.  Over and over.  There goes the girl’s night.

Update:  I interuppted the writing of this post to participate in said activity at a very lively upscale restaurant and bar.  I put on makeup and a nice shirt.  I rocked some tight jeans and high heeled boots.  I drank wine and 8 of us girls spoke of things other than children.  I almost did not go.  I am so glad I did.

In addition to girl’s nights I want to say yes to romance, yes to a date night where I change my clothes for it and we actually leave the house.  So what if the kids have left me with a couple extra pounds?  My husband thinks I am hot in my jammies so it could only help to brush my hair and wear a short skirt right?  As part of this romance I am going to make out in the car again.  It was always fun, always silly and always totally hot.  It is also something I have had a stick up my butt about for awhile now.  If I am going to bring back the lust – I’m going to need to say yes to a little teenage like action.  It won’t hurt if it makes me feel young again either.

I have scheduled a babysitter for tomorrow but I am already nervous.  I’ve become some sort of strange prude.  I will shake it off before tomorrow and get my car nookie going ;)

I will say yes to myself and start doing things I always liked to do, things that I miss.  I am going to get back into singing lessons so when the kids are a little older I can audition for musicals again and be on stage.  I miss it.  I am going to go hiking more because I love it and it has been too long.  I am going to say yes to the little hippie that is left inside me and get rid of my boring clothes and try to always have a little funk in my look, because that’s the way I feel like me.  The little things will make a big difference!

It all sounds so easy, but I have become a very scheduled and boring person along the way.  I have stopped saying yes and started to back away from anything risky and fun.  It is going to be hard to chill out and roll with the punches and see where it takes me.  I think great things can happen when you open your heart to new things and open your mouth and just say YES!

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Comments

  1. says

    I know that exact feeling you’re talking about. There have been SO many times I didn’t want to go out and 90% of the times I talk myself into going, I have a great time and am so grateful I went. (The other 10% just confirms I was in a bad mood and should’ve stayed home, lol.) Now with the baby, I’m sure it will get even more tempting to just stay home. I appreciate your point of view on the value of saying yes more often – it’s definitely necessary.
    .-= Candice´s last blog ..Nate’s Birth Story – Part 6 – The Hospital Stay – When it got scary =-.

  2. says

    I do the same thing! I’ll plan all week for a big girls-night-out or fun date night … and then wind up backing myself out of it so I can sit at home in pajamas and eat fudgsicles in front of the tv. And, honestly, I can name at least five friends who I know do the exact same thing (and I only breathe a small sigh of relief when they back so I don’t have to).

    You’re right — remaining tight in our buds is much more painful than just blossoming already, or re-blossoming as the case may be.

  3. taytay says

    finally! i have missed my big sis. i remember i used to want to be just like you and i have wondered for years where that crazy funky spirit had gone. DO IT BRITT! life is too short…

    • says

      Wow I gotta say I love to inspire people but I may have gone overboard! I went out with the girls Thursday and then had wine with hubs Friday and a double date last night and I am exhausted! But still glad I went…

      20 months – gorl put on some sassy jeans and heels and get out of the house. You so deserve it!

  4. says

    *Waving at you in recognition from the Rocky Mountains* Hi! I’m that girl, too. What the Hell happened to us? When did I become such a scaredy cat/bore/crank? Jeez, even *I* don’t like me much anymore. I’m glad you made yourself go–I think that’s key.
    .-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Drinks with my Archenemy =-.

    • says

      I had fun…finally! I hear you on the cranky too – I so need to be more positive with my hubs and myself and even my kids. The cranky makes me feel so bad about things! But hey – I like you!

  5. says

    I know what you mean about becoming a kind of a prude. It’s like, after a few years of seeing this person sick, smelling their farts, dealing with the little things that annoy you – it’s almost like you don’t WANT to get all hot and bothered because it’s kind of like you’re getting hot and bothered by THAT stuff. This could be just me here! I’m with you on this, though. I’d like to say YES and let go a little more and tap back into when the other person was still a little mysterious and it was sexy and didn’t end with, “Now, can you go empty the dishwasher?”

  6. says

    I have never been the wild and crazy risk-taking type. Thrill rides are not my thing and I always walked the line of what was expected. How boring! But I really like how you laid it all out there here and that you have a plan. You can do it, you’ll be happier for it I’m sure. Keep us updated!
    .-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..On routines, life and strange epiphanies =-.

  7. says

    “Scheduled and boring” … It’s so funny that that’s become comfortable these days. I’m the same way, though I was never all that spontaneous and adventurous. Which makes it pretty sad how un-spontaneous and un-adventurous I am now! =>
    .-= Stacia´s last blog ..I Think I Can =-.

  8. says

    A friend of mine who desperately needed to recapture the fun in her marriage got a little tipsy one night on a date with her husband. They were at an event a good 2-hour drive away and in her tipsy state she decided to surprise him by demanding sex NOW as they were driving home. He pulled off to the side of the road somewhere and they did it in the back seat. She said it was actually pretty awesome because the spontaneity really helped both of them get into it. Just a thought for your date night! :)
    .-= Christiana´s last blog ..10 on Tuesday =-.

    • says

      Woah Christiana baby steps baby. While I am sure my hubs would just love some of that I think I will leave him thinking that only happens to married people in the movies for now. You know – car sex is part of the pre-engagement marketing plan ;)

      • says

        Yeah, never did that. But I thought it might give you a goal to work for. :) And trust me, my friend had never done this before either! Before she got married and had 3 kids, she was a major prude!
        .-= Christiana´s last blog ..10 on Tuesday =-.

  9. says

    You’re on your way, Brittany! BTW, one of my colleagues at the college recently got back into musical theater. She got her daughters involved in the community theater, and she and her husband work tech backstage. Soon, she was auditioning and landing parts. She says every day how glad she is to have that part of herself back. Looking forward to posts about that in your future.
    .-= Lynn´s last blog ..Day Care — Is It Risky? Stop the Guilt Already =-.

    • says

      That is so encouraging! We can be a stage family! That’s not anything like toddlers n tiaras right? I am then a part of it too so its okay ;) Thanks so much!

  10. says

    This post totally spoke to me! I too have become a different person and stepped away from saying yes and just doing to looking for every excuse to say no and why I can’t do XYZ!

    I tried to set up GNO last year…every time I scheduled it something (besides me) got in the way and finally I felt the girl’s (all kidless) we not really into it because no one called me out on rescheduling the last time and so I’ve never got around to it. I need it…

    I have promised myself the next time the grandparents are in town, Hubby and I are going out. If the Boy cries, the grandparent’s can deal with it for an hour or two! So what if we get home and he might be awake and I will need to put him back to sleep…Hubby and I deserve it.

    Funky back in clothing…too funny. I was just telling my MIL that I use to love wearing wedges and now I find I have lost myself in a sea of flats and sneakers! I need to wear something that reminds me I use to dress cool…
    .-= Melisa´s last blog ..Screaming ‘n’ Crying ‘n’ Whining – Oh My. =-.

  11. says

    what a completely fab post! i love reading about the “journey” we take as moms– away from who we are and hopefully right back to the core of what we love about ourselves! good for you!! i’ve recently been better about yeses again and it does feel *great!*

    btw, i found you through scary mommy and am so glad that i did! well done, lady! :)
    .-= Minnesota Mamaleh´s last blog ..Minnesota Mamaleh: High Love, High Control =-.

    • says

      I am so glad you ar here too. I am working on this every day but man is is HARD! I love Scary Mommy and I’m glad you found me! I am off to check out your blog!

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