This is the last of five posts over ten days as part of Momalom’s Five for Ten. We are all writing about the same topics in an honest effort to get to know one another better and make more connections.
Our first topic was Courage. The second was Happiness. The third was memory. The forth was Lust. Today’s is Yes!
If you are already a regular Mommy Words visitor, I hope you enjoy these posts. If you are here as a part of the Five for Ten, welcome! I can’t wait to get to know you.
Something must have scared the crap out of me at some point because I am not the “try anything” girl I used to be. I have gone from the adventurous (not with food) gal who was always up for something new and fabulous to being nervous about a double date with my husband. I kid you not. Something is wrong.
I used to possess a gumby like flexibility that allowed me to be cool with auditioning for musicals that I got (and didn’t get), dropping everything at any hour for live music dressing in a glittering gown and attending a ball. I used to laugh hysterically all the time as I thrust myself into new experiences, went out on limbs to make new friends and said yes to most of the things that came my way. I had a hell of a lot of fun.
Now I am a coiled up ball of rigid likes and dislikes and I feel like I am choking. God, I said it. I said what has been on my heart for years. I need to address the questions my darling husband asks me all the time because I ask them too. I want to bring back the crazy girl he married. We both liked that girl a lot…and I think the kids wouldn’t mind if I shared a little crazy with grownups. There will be a few things I will not bring back because people with children just don’t roll that way, but otherwise, I know it is game on for me. I need to find my yes man or risk losing that part of myself.
I think it starts with just saying yes to simple things and not backing down with some silly excuse. I am not the only mom I know who does this. I sit around saying how much I need a girl’s night and then as it approaches I put up my own roadblocks. I’m really tired or the kids have left me very crabby or I feel like I have nothing left to give at the end of the day…and so we reschedule. Over and over. There goes the girl’s night.
Update: I interuppted the writing of this post to participate in said activity at a very lively upscale restaurant and bar. I put on makeup and a nice shirt. I rocked some tight jeans and high heeled boots. I drank wine and 8 of us girls spoke of things other than children. I almost did not go. I am so glad I did.
In addition to girl’s nights I want to say yes to romance, yes to a date night where I change my clothes for it and we actually leave the house. So what if the kids have left me with a couple extra pounds? My husband thinks I am hot in my jammies so it could only help to brush my hair and wear a short skirt right? As part of this romance I am going to make out in the car again. It was always fun, always silly and always totally hot. It is also something I have had a stick up my butt about for awhile now. If I am going to bring back the lust – I’m going to need to say yes to a little teenage like action. It won’t hurt if it makes me feel young again either.
I have scheduled a babysitter for tomorrow but I am already nervous. I’ve become some sort of strange prude. I will shake it off before tomorrow and get my car nookie going
I will say yes to myself and start doing things I always liked to do, things that I miss. I am going to get back into singing lessons so when the kids are a little older I can audition for musicals again and be on stage. I miss it. I am going to go hiking more because I love it and it has been too long. I am going to say yes to the little hippie that is left inside me and get rid of my boring clothes and try to always have a little funk in my look, because that’s the way I feel like me. The little things will make a big difference!
It all sounds so easy, but I have become a very scheduled and boring person along the way. I have stopped saying yes and started to back away from anything risky and fun. It is going to be hard to chill out and roll with the punches and see where it takes me. I think great things can happen when you open your heart to new things and open your mouth and just say YES!
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